Back to School: 3 Tips
to Ease the Adjustment Period for Parents and Students
Going back to school after a summer with lessened school-related pressure increases the potential of varied emotions in both children and parents. The potential stress experienced during the school year countered by carefree summer days means significant adjustments for parents and students alike. Behavioral issues or anxieties that were prevalent during the school year may have disappeared during the summer months along with the pressures of school. Children's behaviors and attitudes may become more negative upon returning to the school routine, leaving parents feeling isolated in navigating how to help their child. Parents may even experience higher levels of anxiety as they anticipate sending their child back to school. So, what can parents do to help prepare their child and themselves as the new school year begins?
SET THE TONE
If a parent is displaying anxiety around their child, the child will likely pick up on these feelings and become anxious themselves. A parent can help set the tone by avoiding leading questions such as “Are you feeling nervous?” Instead, the parent can ask “How are you feeling about going back to school?” Engage in open conversation with your child, allowing them to tell you how they're feeling, and be sure to validate their feelings. You can do this by saying "It's okay to feel nervous."
ESTABLISH A ROUTINE
Routine is vital for parents and children to establish a sense of security and predictability. Routines help to communicate expectations for what the day will look like. Establishing a routine includes considering what time your child will wake up before school, what expectations are in place after school -- is your child expected to start homework right away? Do they get a snack? Do they have chores to do? -- and what time the bedtime routine starts. Routines at home, in addition to the routine of going to school each day, are essential to the success of both parents and children.
PREPARE YOUR CHILD FOR SOCIAL INTERACTIONS
Review with your child how they can appropriately stand up for themselves and set boundaries with their peers. Remind them that boundaries are more than physical; they are also emotional. For example, encourage them to advocate for themselves with a phrase like: "When you talk about my friends behind their back, I'm going to play with someone else." When boundaries are broken, help your child prepare for how they can respond to that. Maybe that’s coming up with a short phrase that they can repeat over and over again to the person who broke the boundary, such as "I don’t like when you talk to me that way.” Continuing to repeat a phrase like this does not give the other person the opportunity to fight back. Eventually, they get tired of hearing the same thing and walk away. Another thing you can do to prepare your child is to model what it looks like to ask for help. Acknowledge that we can’t do everything by ourselves. Sometimes we need physical help to carry something, while other times we may need help to understand a concept. Everyone needs help at some point. Demonstrate that it's okay to need help!
When parents take the time to equip themselves and their child for the return to school, everyone has a higher chance at thriving despite the adjustment. Allow feelings to be felt and don't try to change the feelings. Establish a routine that allows parents and children alike to thrive as a new season begins. Talk with your child about interacting with others, emphasizing the importance of setting personal boundaries and of asking for help when they need it. While the adjustment from summer to school year introduces opportunity for difficulties, a few simple tips will help the transition be smooth and easy.
